Are We There Yet?
by Alice Bekett
Summary: Takes place several weeks arfter Buffy's death,The gang decide to take a vacation I.E go camping in a RV to take everyone's mind off it.When the Carrier,Spike's childe,shows up and infects him, will Dawn and the others finally learn about Spike's past?


Are We There Yet?

_… _

"Are we there yet?" Dawn asked.

"No." Spike, Giles, Willow, and Xander replied in unison.

Spike was looking out the window of the expensive, luxury RV. The moon was out and the stars bright, he didn't look all there. He looked tired; he had a right, seeing as he'd been awake most of the day.

He'd only talked a few times during the journey, maybe five hundred words in nearly a week. Dawn was worried, but no one else really cared, Xander was happy that the vampire was quiet.

Willow and Tara had been rebuilding their relationship since Willow had restored Tara's sanity. Their love bloomed fully, and it wasn't often when they weren't together.

In the wake of Buffy's death, it was decided that they would all need a break.

The solution: camping. In a trailer park filled with other people.

Dawn didn't like the idea, well she had the feeling Spike didn't like it, and she herself didn't really like the idea, but came along anyway, if only for her friends' sake.

Spike suddenly took a deep breath, breaking her thoughts. She looked at him for a moment. "You okay?" She asked hesitantly.

He looked at her, and shook his head. "Hungry." He said hoarsely, no one heard it except Dawn, who was sitting beside him. He licked his dry, nearly colourless lips, and stared out the window again, gone.

Dawn swiftly got up, went to the fridge and threw a blood pack at him. He jumped slightly, but regained his composure. He stared at Dawn blankly for a moment, and then hesitantly drank the blood in the pack. Dawn threw it out, and sat beside him again. She looked at him for a moment, and even though he was once again staring out the window, he looked, better. He looked a little more there.

Willow watched the two from behind, she'd been in tears for nearly two days after Buffy died, but she was better. Spike seemed worse. He'd sobbed at the sight of Buffy's body, and had even tolerated Angel for the late funeral. In fact she'd seen the two talk.

Suddenly, the RV rolled to a stop. "We're here." Giles called.

As he pulled into the area that they'd rented, Spike finally tore his gaze away from the stars. Giles parked the RV. "I've got to go tell them we're here."

Anya nodded. "Ok, I anyone hungry?" She asked cheerily.

There was a few mumbled 'yeses' and that was good enough for Anya to pull out the BBQ and start cooking hotdogs and hamburgers.

Spike and Xander set up the picnic table, Spike sank onto the bench and lit up a smoke. He inhaled and exhaled, letting the drugs flow through his dead body. He had always wondered how it worked, but didn't really care, so long as it kept working.

He felt overly calm, and emotionally dead, but because of that, his bond to Dawn was strengthened. He didn't care anymore, no one noticed, and that made him care even less.

He didn't have a soul, so like Doc said, why did he care? He didn't have an answer. He didn't know why. He didn't know why he'd nearly lost it, why he was losing it.

He was tired, tired of living (if you could call it that), tired of being treated like dirt, tired of it all. The only thing that was worth it was Dawn, he had to keep his promise, he _had _to. If only to make up for failing Buffy, if only to make sure that her sister was safe, wherever she was.

Dawn sat next to him. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" Dawn asked.

"Not much, jus'"- his voice cracked. "How it should've ended."

Dawn frowned. "There was nothing more you could've done, I mean, you're leg is still healing."

Spike scoffed. "It's pretty much healed, Luv."

Dawn blinked. "Oh."

"Thanks for the thought." Spike murmured, staring at his boots.

Dawn smiled. "It's okay, it's my job to cheer you up."

Spike sighed. "I wonder if there's a place we go to, like Heaven."

Dawn looked up too. "I think so, I think Mom and Buffy are watching us right now"

Spike nodded. "I hope so, I believed in God, a long time ago, I've given up."

"Why?"

"Because I'm damned."

Dawn looked at him, wide eyed. Spike continued. "I have no soul, therefore, I'm damned."

"I- I can't believe that." Dawn protested but knew deep down it was true.

Spike looked at her, knowing that she was lying. "you wouldn't believe the things I've done."

"Food's done!" Anya called cheerfully. Spike wrinkled his nose in disgust. "You burned 'em!"

Xander poked his head out the window. "You think you can do better?"

"Bloody hell! I _know_ I can!"

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Anya protested.

Spike sniffed the air suddenly, and grimaced. "They're _still_ burning!"

Anya dashed back to the BBQ. Spike wrinkled his nose. "One thing I can' stand is burned meat." Spike paused. "Especially when it's not real meat."

Dawn shrugged. "It's okay, but I tend to avoid it." Trying unsuccessfully to hide her smile.

"Bloody hell, I'm gonna go get something for us." He hopped off the picnic table, as he turned the corner to go into the trailer, he ran into someone, literally.

"Bloody hell! That was one of m' last smokes!"

"Hey, breakfast, just before going to celebrate the Slayer's death!"

It was a vampire, but Spike processed the words quickly, before he was thinking, he picked up the light vampire and threw him, nearly plowing through Xander, he picked him up roughly by the collar and slammed him against the side of the RV.

"Um, who's that? And why did you run over me."

"Repeat wot you said t' me, make it loud 'n clear." Spike said menacingly.

The vampire smiled, and licked his lips. "I said that we'd be celebrating the death of the Slayer."

Xander blinked. "That's a good reason. Kill it."

Spike smirked, and he ripped the vampire's arm off suddenly. The vampire howled as his arm crumbled to dust.

"That's the William the Bloody I remember." Speculated a female voice from behind Xander.

Spike froze. Quickly, he staked the vampire that he was holding, and glanced up.

He stood up and brushed his duster off. Calmly, too calmly he said, "I thought you were dead."

A young woman stepped from the shadows, smiling. "Well, you though wrong, Sire."

Spike scoffed. "How many time do I have to tell you, don't call me that!"

"Um, Spike who is this?" Giles asked, cleaning his glasses.

Spike swallowed, pulled a flask from his pocket took a swig. "This is Illyana, my Childe."

Dawn looked at him, mouth open. "I thought you didn't"-

Spike shook his head. "I do, now."

Illyana sneezed on him. "Powers above and below!" Spike swore. "I know you're the only Carrier, but d' you _have _t' do tha'?"

She sneezed again. "Sorry."

"Carrier?" Xander asked.

Spike sat down. "Long story."

"I've heard of them." Giles said suddenly. "It's kind of like a Slayer, except instead of being human and killing vampires. They're a vampire themselves and can get others sick."

Willow shook her head. "I thought they were myths."

"No, they tend to lock them up, so vampires can't get sick, but William sired me. He wouldn't let that happen." Illyana said proudly.

Spike furrowed his brows suddenly, and inhaled. "You have a soul."

"Yeah, old news Pops."

Spike flinched. "I'm not that old."

"You're over a hundred and twenty, yes you are."

Dawn shook her head in amazement, they argued like she and Buffy used to, except add a dash of married couple to the mix, and it would be perfect.

_…_

"I've gotta go, I'm on the run from other vampires who know I'm Carrier. I'll see you later, though, Sunnydale, right?"

"Yes."

Illyana kissed him on the cheek and left.

_…_

(Nine AM)

Spike rolled over, unable to breathe. Even though it had been nearly fifty years since Illyana had last infected him, he already hated it.

"Bloody hell." He rasped.

Dawn was above him, half-asleep. He could hear the calm rhythm of her heart.

"What's wrong?" She asked sleepily.

"Illyana infected me." Spike moaned softly into his pillow. "It sucks."

Dawn choked on her laughter.

"No' funny, Bit."

"Sorry." Dawn snorted.

"No you're no'" He drawled, piling the blankets over his head.

"Okay, maybe I'm not, but get up, I'll get Giles to make some tea."

"Sod off." Spike mumbled.

"No." Dawn hopped to the floor, the noise making Spike cringe.

She flinched at his labored breathing. "I'll be right back."

_…_

(Twenty minutes later)

"Spike, I got Giles to make some tea." Dawn said hesitantly.

No response, Spike just peeked his head from under the blankets. "It's been _years_ since I've drunken tea."

"Sit up." Dawn ordered. Silently, the vampire obliged, the blankets falling away from his naked torso.

Dawn nearly dropped the mug of tea.

She'd always known the tight t-shirts he wore fit him well, but she hadn't realized how skinny he was.

_That's probably why he wears them. It hides everything. _Dawn thought, wordlessly handing him the tea.

Spike sipped it and winced as the hot liquid burned down his sore throat. "Bloody 'ell, I'd forgotten 'ow bland this was."

Dawn smiled slightly. "Live with it."

Spike took another sip, wincing. "Is it that bad?" Dawn asked.

"Take a sip an' see for yourself."

"But"-

"You won' get sick luv, no' from me."

Dawn tentatively took a sip and made a face. "Ew, how can Giles stand this?"

Spike swallowed some more. "No idea, Pet. Now tha' I think 'bout it- how did I?"

Dawn shrugged. "That was gross."

Spike shook his head. "Yes, it is."

He held the mug out to her, and lay back down again. "Thanks luv."

Dawn smiled sympathetically. " No problem."

_…_

(Noon)

Dawn watched cartoons from the table/bench/couch thing that was built into the trailer. This was one of those times when she really missed her sister.

Spike had been quiet, making no noise. Dawn figured he wasn't breathing. It would make sense, save him the trouble, and it would help with his comfort levels.

She really wanted to listen to some music, and wondered if she could sneak into the room she shared with Spike.

There had been a lengthily debate about that. But (eventually) it had been decided that it would have to do, seeing as no one else could stand the vampire. Xander had protested the whole way, but after he was out-voted, complained about it constantly.

Dawn didn't mind, she'd had a nightmare, and hadn't made much noise.

Much, that and her heart rate had skyrocketed. (From what Spike said) He'd been there, the others hadn't. They were friends, and her crush was gone, she no longer felt really attracted to him anymore, just in a friendly way. She was nearly certain that he felt the same kinship toward her.

She really hoped so.

She silently crept into their room; Spike was sprawled across his bed, blankets covering nearly every part of him. He was fast asleep. Dawn watched his impassive face as he dreamed; at least she assumed he was.

She snuck over to his backpack that had his guitars resting next to it. Trying to rummage quietly through it in the dark room proved impossible. "Dawnie?" She froze. "Wot are you lookin' for?"

Dawn blushed. "Our Ipod."

"It's in my duster, luv."

"Which pocket?" Dawn asked, finding said jacket hanging up near the door. " Left pocket in the inside."

Dawn slipped her hand in, and felt the Ipod, as her other hand held the coat steady, she felt something in the other pocket, carefully she slid her hand in and felt a pair of glasses.

Blinking in shock, she slipped out of the room without a word.

END (for now)

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, or any of the related characters, except Illyana and th whole 'Carrier' idea, and the vamp Spike dusted.


End file.
